Major Difficulties: A Decision that Affects the Rest of Your Life

Common struggles for young people are often centered around college and what the future may hold for them. Allow me to confess my college experiences and how I don’t feel alone in my struggles.

School was never for me. I constantly struggled to do well, despite my want to. Being perceived as a carefree individual prevented me from motivating myself. No one took me seriously. During high school I wished I was smarter and worked harder. I did want to succeed, but it was challenging for me and somehow always fell short.

My main problem is motivation; I never pushed myself enough and would become discouraged. Seeing everyone else doing well was even more discouraging. After continuously experiencing this cycle, I did the thing you probably should never do, I gave up. I stopped studying, I stopped pushing myself, and I became lazy. Now I am twenty-one years old and am still struggling with what I want to do.

While I was in high school, I found that my strong point was in business classes; I always found myself doing well in those classes. I figured once I finished high school business school was my next step.

While researching for post-secondary institutions, I came across the General Business program at Mohawk College and for once in my life I felt excited to go back to school. It felt like a new beginning for me. I made it through the first semester and did pretty well for myself, better than I would've ever thought. Yet, a month into the program I realized that it was not the program for me. I would struggle to get up everyday and would have to drag myself to class. I know I'm no expert but I don't think that's how your college experience is supposed to be.

I ended up withdrawing from that program. I figured there's no sense in wasting time.

What I struggled the most with was everyone asking about school. “What are you doing now?” “What school do you go to?” “What program are you in?” It was embarrassing to tell people what I was going through. Most of the time I just lied and said I was still in the program that I had dropped out of, just so they wouldn't see me as a failure. That feeling of just not knowing what to do and where to go is horrible, you just feel paralyzed.

My search began again in hopes for finding a program right for me. I noticed that Mohawk College was launching a new Paralegal program. Shortly after I began my path towards becoming a paralegal, this time it felt right.

But of course, I fell in that same cycle again. Once second semester came along, I just couldn't push through and finish it.

It’s difficult to appreciate yourself when you see others around you expressing how much they love their programs and schools. This made me think, “When can that be me? When do I get my chance?” I usually get over things easily; I don't hold on to things that bring me down, but my struggle in finding a program right for me is something that I could never shake the feeling of. So once again, I considered my future and figured whats the use of being in this program when I am still not happy with it. I withdrew from this program, the same way I did in the business program without even finishing second semester.

At this point, I thought I would never go back to school. What would be the point? I never seemed to find something that was suitable for me. But with encouragement of my family and friends, I knew applying for a different program was the right thing to do. I took a some time to really think about it.

In order to be successful you don't need some high-end job that pays a lot. You need to find something that fits you, something that makes you happy, and something worth getting up for everyday. I know working part-time jobs forever will not get me the things I want in life. If I don't make the necessary changes I may remain unhappy for the rest of my life. I know this might sound mundane, but to me an office job would be perfect. It's simple, I would be somewhere where I would fit in and be able to handle the workload.

I applied to Mohawk College again, but this time for Office Administration. I know this program will be right for me as the courses are similar to those that I have succeeded in. You may be thinking what if she falls in the same cycle again? Well the difference this time is that I know I can do this one and follow through with it, I have a different mindset this time and know this is the best thing for me. I will not make the same mistakes of my past and I will push through this to begin my life.

I know many people may struggle financially or mentally but a lot is possible if you have the right mindset. It might take you some time, hell it has taken me years, but you will get there. You don't need to meet the unrealistic goals that the media portrays as reality. You just need to do whatever you possibly can to make your life one worth living. Education is a large part of finding a career in today's society. With the right attitude and a support system, I think anyone is capable of success and because of that, I can finally start my life the way I want to.